From Drought to Harvest: A Journey Through Midlife Crisis and Transformation

Have you ever caught yourself postponing joy, believing some future moment will be better than the present? That's the powerful question at the heart of this raw, reflective episode where I open up about emerging from my Pluto square transit—what astrologers often call the midlife crisis period.

Life rarely provides clean transitions. Even as I notice positive shifts after years of financial drought and professional uncertainty, I've discovered there's a crucial cleanup phase that follows major life transitions. This realization prompted me to examine how often we "borrow from the future," sacrificing today's contentment for tomorrow's promised rewards.

My recent journey includes stepping away from social media platforms that restricted authentic expression, leaving my role as a TikTok Creator Network Manager, and recommitting to my coaching business, Sovereign. But perhaps more significantly, I'm confronting deeper truths about aging (approaching 51), ungrieved losses, and the survival mentality that's shaped my entire life. I share candid thoughts about the importance of consolidation after difficult periods—giving ourselves and others time to heal and integrate experiences before moving forward.

The conversation weaves through practical financial insights from my childhood in a single-parent household to philosophical questions about faith, purpose, and how astrology provides a framework for understanding life's seasons without predicting outcomes. Though I'm still working through challenges, there's a tentative hope emerging as I shift focus from mere survival to possibilities for thriving.

If you're navigating your own life transitions or questioning the "it gets better" narrative, this episode offers companionship in that journey. I'd love to hear where you're listening from and have you join this growing community of seekers. Stay empowered!

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Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction and Life Update
• 2:08 Leaving the Pluto Square Behind
• 3:59 Career Shifts and Business Evolution
• 9:03 Borrowing From the Future
• 17:51 Debt and Consolidation After Drought
• 22:31 Finding Hope and Moving Forward

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Lita, goddess of Growth, here, and this is me showing up. It's been a month, I think, since my last podcast and there's so much I need to I'd love to catch you up on. I hope I'm having some people come forward and listen to the podcast and I would so love to have you, if you are listening, to just interact with the podcast. Leave me a message I upload on Buzzsprout around once a month and I will be increasing the podcasts. So where am I today? Today, september 2025, leaving my Pluto square. Pluto, the midlife crisis. Apparently, it could affect you age 30 to 60. So this is mine, which should have ended end of July. Did I feel a shift? Yes, has it resolved everything? No, the energies have shifted and I seem to be doing a lot of cleanup. I've gone from a season of drought, working very hard to get things moving and not getting the visibility I needed to progress, to succeed.

Speaker 1: 1:42

By the end of July I could see a glimmer of hope, some movement. Finances changed a little. I had to take a role to stable my income, bring in some much needed cash to make sure that I was in a position to pay the bills, pay my mortgage. I reported the last time I was here that I became a Creator Network Manager via TikTok. The invitation came via my For you page. I applied. It was about April time. I was accepted in April and I had so much hope, the opportunity held I thought. So much promise. Well, it wasn't too long ago that I managed to give my notice into the platform I continue to build my business, now called Sovereign. The vision is still the same to coach creators, people running their small business and providing a space where community can be built, where I am in a position to spotlight others, help them transform, using their stories as a start and also building community. Often we forget why we start things. I joined social media so that I could improve my visibility, increase my network, so that whilst I was working and building my coaching practice, things would be easier. But somehow along the line, I ended up on social media and very concerned about algorithms, following prompts on how many times to go online and so on and so forth.

Speaker 1: 3:56

Meanwhile, real life has been happening and the two came together. They came to a head. So my life at this time 51 soon. My goodness. When I first started this podcast in February, I was almost just getting used to being 50. 50 was not an age that I dreaded at all. I thought, thought my body would look much better than it does at this time, but evidently I didn't put in the work or the effort to get it, so there's been a bit of sadness.

Speaker 1: 4:36

I worked my life trying to get out of poverty so that I would be in a position to welcome, actually put myself in a position to try for a child, and I've never had the opportunity to do so and it's likely at this stage of life, I will not have the opportunity to do so. I've not been able to grieve about it. I've not been able to grieve about it mainly because my focus has been on keeping my bills paid, keeping my mortgage paid, keeping a roof over my head 2022, until even up until July this year, 2025, hoping and praying that, whatever happens, please do not let me lose my home, stability being key for me. I had so many moves in my youth. I only stabilised accommodation from the late 2000s when I purchased my first apartment. Well, I'm in my little home in a little village in Somerset and I have been here oh September, so this will be my fifth anniversary in this property.

Speaker 1: 6:06

I must admit, after the hard work that I have been going through, the stress of having income one minute, then drought, and always catching up, catching up myself. A few weeks ago I really questioned what it was I was fighting to save. But I'm here. Having something is better than having nothing. I suppose Today I was thinking a bit about this idea of borrowing from the future, and I must admit there's many a thing that I delayed and put off, hoping for a better tomorrow. You know, you listen to the stories adults tell you, oh, it will get better. And one day I actually realised and this is only very recently that it's not necessarily the case that things get better. They may appear so on the surface, but more so it's a case of how we view the scenarios that come our way, how we internalise them, how we manage ourselves, our emotions and our thought process.

Speaker 1: 7:33

I don't necessarily believe things get better, but then I suppose it depends on what you mean by better, even to the point of questioning prayer, because it's dawned on me, if we are living in seasons we're all in this world, but living in different worlds no amount of prayer is going to change the season that we are in. Proactive steps like, for example, making sure that you're travelling to a different destination, you're in a different location. But the truth is, the majority of us cannot outrun our season. And there is something cannot outrun our season and there is something, I suppose, beautiful in going through the cycles of life so that we have those moments where things are fallow, and we're in that position later on where things start to sprout and we're there later to enjoy and appreciate the harvest. Many don't get to see the harvest, many don't get to appreciate the harvest, but we'd like to think that the whole process of going on that journey is what is keeping us contained, helping our spirits to evolve.

Speaker 1: 9:10

And I will say that my life has often been almost as if I read a lot of books as a child, so almost as if I not only delayed womanhood but delayed life to the point where I felt I needed to just keep working, keep focused and one day, tomorrow, things would look and be how I needed them to be. Well, I am 51, not too long from now. The year has gone really fast and I am seeing things quite a lot different, so much differently to how I used to. I've aged, and when I say I've aged, it's a different kind of ageing. It's almost as if these last two years this just came upon me. I looked on my face one day and I could actually see the age on my face.

Speaker 1: 10:21

I haven't been on TikTok for a few weeks. I actually closed my accounts down. I thought actually I need to step away and give it a break and instead what I've been doing is building my business, because what it showed me the opportunity that was presented was that I really do enjoy coaching. I really do enjoy going through and working with someone on their business strategy all of that. I also really need to have freedom of expression. I need to be able to build connections and not have to worry about what I say and how I say things, which I think was becoming an issue on the platform. In the strangest way, I thank TikTok because it was due to TikTok that I decided to open this podcast.

Speaker 1: 11:21

It was on my mind for a good couple of years, but in going on TikTok and attempting to do posts about how I felt and what I was going through attempting to do posts about how I felt on what I was going through Initially I had a business account and often I would have my posts deleted and be told that the posts themselves were not suitable for the platform. It's life. So, actually, to be fair, even to accept the role of Creator Network Manager this year I suppose I needed that kind of affirmation and to be able to walk away with my head held high that too was good. I was able to look behind the scenes and realise that, actually, whatever we're going to build, we do need to build on our own. No one's actually going to help us on this process. When we're talking about visibility and improving ourselves, our business prospects, our brands, this is work that we do. There's no platform that's going to do it for us. Yes, platforms will present connections and opportunity, but it's for us to use the space and create what it is that we're there to create, to make sure that we're able to connect the people that's there to receive our message or to connect with our service, our product, our brand.

Speaker 1: 12:59

So, moving on from social media, I've come to realize these transits. Yes, they show you what's happening in the core and they are influences, but at the end of the transit, life doesn't just go back to normal. There isn't an immediate light. No, there is a cleanup after. So, as I was saying today, I was thinking about borrowing from the future this idea that tomorrow will be better. And in having that idea, I suppose in a way it's what some religious people tell themselves on a daily basis. You know, if I'm good now, no matter what piety I'm going through, it will be okay because I'll be going to heaven. It's like that. So we live our lives postponing until tomorrow and beyond, with this idea that somewhere later down the line, life is going to be better than today. But how about using this time, even just small moments of the day, to just be in today, be glad in today, knowing this is all we have, this is all there is Until the next time? So again, when I think about the season coming to the end, the transit ending, the shifts, I'm finding I'm doing a lot that I still don't necessarily want to do. I am also in the background, working on websites and next steps, and I do question at what point will I be in a position to fully commit to what I'd like to do? And then I have to remind myself again be in the moment. Tomorrow is not promised. And then I continue to have these discussions with myself.

Speaker 1: 15:23

It gets me thinking about debt credit, you see, as a child raised in a single parent home, there wasn't that value that one would have about budgeting and income. I was very privileged to have a mother that was quite good at the time, showing these are the bills that need to be paid, etc. Etc. So I did have that awareness and often I'd be sent to put down money on this bill and that bill. Remember when the led I think that's what it used to call led um office was open. You'd go and pay your electric and you'd wait until the red bill, but not before something happened to make sure that you paid enough. So all those kinds of things that don't exist anymore. So yeah, I had an awareness, definitely awareness, definitely before I left home at 17 and it was in my degree years that I was able to take on budgeting strategy. I really enjoyed strategy. We used to have simulations and I think I was quite good at that, deciding in the software what routes to take for more profitability and things like that. Then the real world kicked in.

Speaker 1: 17:00

But thinking about debt, I understand that as a society we often see people crash, not observing the season that they're in, and maybe there's a bit of light, maybe they've gone from unemployment to employment, or had someone join their life to increase their income, or however it's done and immediately on the outside, we presume, okay, life is better. And then, before you know it, we start demanding attention, resources and so forth on the basis as to what the person has now. But do we give enough time to those that have been through the drought? Do we give enough time to those that have been through the drought? Do we give enough time to ourselves, to each other, to recover from the journey, that fallow period? Often the cycle of debt continues because we have a low point, then there's this high point and there isn't any time taken to consolidate. So this is why I do believe you hear stories about people who they increase their income but they still never have any money because they don't consolidate, with the fact that actually in the past, this is what I had and I couldn't afford xyz, so I couldn't do this. Money has increased. Have you increased up the buffer so that, no matter what happens, you've got something set aside to to move forward? It looks better on paper and it looks better in my mind, but I hope you understand what I'm trying to convey.

Speaker 1: 18:37

Consolidation and consolidation is not just about the finances the material, we're talking about the spiritual To come through a couple of years questioning. Is your mind right? Is this really happening? What does faith mean? What does friendship mean? What does partnership mean? Question upon question and each one revealing itself in its own way. We see light, we breathe differently and we can feel a change, but there's still that consolidation, that moment for healing candles and just being present, adding fragrance, getting a new robe. However, it is that we acknowledge what it is that we have been through in this season that we've left behind us, whether it be of drought, loss, ending, whatever it is. Are we giving ourselves and each other the time needed to consolidate? Because, as much as there may be a change now, that does not mean that the debts that were accumulated in the drought period have been paid. There needs to be some time to appreciate where we've come from, to appreciate where we are now, so that we're in a better place and space in whatever future is to come, and we support each other in doing so best when we allow that consolidation to happen.

Speaker 1: 20:51

It's something from childhood, I think, being of a poor background, whereby as soon as I had, it was a case of let's celebrate, let's do now because I was not able to do before but never really catching up, never really having enough, always on survival level. Life has changed a lot. The things that were seen as valuable, the view of them, has changed a lot. Relationships have changed. Each almost 51, more illnesses are around me. People still questioning life. What is it all about? And it doesn't really matter the age, to be fair. We all question it on a level and as much as many of us would say we have faith and whatever it is that we say about ourselves, there's still that question why, unless we're living our best life, I have a few plans of my own so that I can enjoy the moment as best as possible. I'm still working very hard just to survive, and when I say survive, I mean I'm still at the stage. It's now September. Any small change could mean that I am not in a position to pay the bills I need to pay and it's not the nicest position to be in. It could be worse. I spoke to my mortgage company only last week and I felt, you know, I felt to myself, you know, actually, as much as I don't like being in this position, I'm still in a very good position and it gives me hope. It gives me hope for a life that can be lived. I move forward.

Speaker 1: 23:14

Transits astrology is what I will be reading. I read it for my personal knowledge and awareness. It helps me have faith in the time and the season and, honestly, at this time of my life, I really do not know how people assess life without knowing the season that they're in. I don't believe that astrology can be used to predict our lives, because we're creating our lives all the time, every single day, every moment but I do believe there's definitely influences guiding us along the way. I do believe that these last two and a bit years for myself, since 2022, I do believe I was destined to have the crash that I had, so that I could take a step back and really focus on what this life is that I signed up to is about.

Speaker 1: 24:23

It's not been easy. There's been losses not all of them feel like losses, though and, as I say, to get to the end of it almost, and to then be thinking, oh my gosh, actually, I don't even know if I want to stay in this house anymore. Definitely, I know more change is to come. I have no idea how the change will come about, but my aspiration is to leave this life of survival. I've had it my whole life survival, survival, survival. I've done that. I understand that journey. Well, do tap into the empowerment diaries. There will be some more podcasts to follow, and at the end of the podcast there's a few companies that I list on the upload which I would love you to tap into. And if you have any suggestions of other companies that I could add to support the podcast as well, do let me know. I noticed that I have listeners in different countries now I'd love you to drop a line to let me know exactly where you're listening from. Thank you for listening. This is Lita, goddess of growth. Stay empowered, thank you.